What helps in sustaining relationship?

Time and again, I have stated various reasons which can spoil a relationship - https://www.astrosaxena.com/relations2 . These reasons were from social to astrological to basic upbringing of a person. Reasons are so many that we can't put them in series in one article or post. Individual cases can have individual reasons. I somehow feel that I am also the only astrologer till now which disconnected Astrology from Marriage. I wrote an article on the process of match making and stated the reason "Why two horoscopes will never match"? This article was later published by 

scribd.com (https://www.scribd.com/document/369823777/Marriage-Match) 

which means that people are ready to accept my views on Astrology & Marriage.

I again say that Astrology & Marriage has no relevance with each other. Marriage remains your social institution and your society decides it as to whom you are going to marry? I have re-iterated my views time and again in my articles here 

- http://astrosaxena.com/ramm,

 http://astrosaxena.com/irm,

 http://astrosaxena.com/d9lifepath,

 http://astrosaxena.com/chartmatch,

http://astrosaxena.com/relsyn,

https://www.astrosaxena.com/fbrelations , and http://astrosaxena.com/2marriage. 

One may feel that why I need to repeat the same so many times. It is because this illogical connection between Astrology and Marriage is going on for centuries and people are following it without application of any mind. When someone is in such deep sleep then you have to shout again and again to wake them. So for 1st couple of years of my practice, I tried my best to shout at the top of my voice and was able to convince a few people. Of course, the biggest loss of this was also suffered by me only as people rarely come for marriage and horoscope matching consultations to me. It is because most of them don't want to hear anything negative on their relationship/married.

It actually created an illusion among people that I don't give marriage consultations. No, actually I can give one of the best relationship advice to people but that advice may not be as per their desire. So, if you are ready to listen to me and my blunt views on marriage then I am ready to help you. At least please don't keep this hope that if you marry someone then that person will make your life happy. That person may also have similar dream from you. Things can go other way around too.

(This introductory part of this post was necessary for new people on page who are curious to know about their partner's looks and wealth).

Then after stating down all the major reasons in relationship issues, I moved towards the solutions and wrote an article on How much astrology can help in relationship matters? - https://www.astrosaxena.com/astromarriage1 . These are the precautions you should take astrologically when you are deciding to get into relation with anyone.

And now we come to the motive behind today's post i.e. what if someone is already in relation/marriage and feeling the pinch. Now, on what grounds couple can improve relationship? So, these are few following points or suggestions I have which can help people in improving a relationship -

1. 1st of all, although couple may be going through a difficult time in relationship but they should have the foundational things working well within them then only coming suggestions will be helpful. These foundational things are mutual trust, mutual respect and care towards each other. If there is any relation where couple have lost any of these qualities then, in my opinion at least, there is no point in dragging any such relation and they must part their ways without wasting much time. It is almost impossible to re-gain the same trust and respect once it is lost. So, other factors I am going to talk about will help when this basic foundation is intact. Although I have seen cases of couple re-marrying after divorce but those are exceptional cases, like 1 in 2000 consultations and even that required awareness and honest unselfish efforts over a very long period of time from both sides to re-create that trust.

2. Children - Biggest factor which helps in improving a marriage is Children. If "both (husband/wife)" can focus on their children, future of their children rather than focusing on their individual ego then things can become better between them. But again, it has the condition of "both" getting involved into this act. If one person is ready to leave his ego but other person is still bringing egocentric discussions then it may not help. Also, it doesn't mean that a couple going through a troubled relation should have a child in hope of a better married life. A child born out of a troubled marriage will have a troubled life in all probabilities. A child out of love-less marriage will live a love-less life.

3. Joint Venture - Likewise, if couple has started something together after marriage like a business or creative project then that venture can similarly help them in improving a relation if they let go of their ego clashes and focus on that venture

4. Common Interests - Then common interests among couple also help them to improve a relation. Suppose, a couple may have some reasons to conflict but if they have a common interest or hobby then they can focus on that hobby to improve their relation. As both of them are passionate about it, there is a very less chance that they will get into conflicts on that hobby.

5. Points of Agreement - Even with our friends, it is not that we agree on all points or every thing. We are supposed to have disagreements as we all are unique individuals and have a unique way of understanding things. But when we have disagreement with a friend and we want that friendship to continue then what do we do? We don't bring those points of conflict in our meetings and discussions. Likewise, every couple needs to find out the points on which they agree and the points on which they disagree. Then focus on those points of agreement to improve a relation.

6. Meditation and Awareness - We relate with others through our mind. It is mind which wants a relationship and it is mind which feels happy when we are in relationship. It is also the mind which feels sad when relations break. And as always, the only way to calm mind or guide mind in a positive way or direction is through Meditation. Again, Meditation won't solve any of your problem but you will stop treating those things as your problem. You will be aware and acceptable to your circumstances.

7. But the most important thing is that all these efforts can give you positive results when both sides are equally honest in putting these efforts and making things better. If one person is even pretending to make these efforts and is not honest towards them then we can't expect any improvement.

These are very few points which can help in making a relationship better. I am sure that there are many more. We should have as many number of resolutions as we have the issues in relationship. Please feel free to add your views on the points which can make relationship sustain so that I can write a detailed article on it.

Thanks,

 SPB