Interpretation of the Twenty-Third Rule of Love

Rule Number 23 — Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate. – Shams, to Self

Context - This insight emerges on the eve of Shams’ meeting with Rumi. As he reflects on the encounter awaiting him the next day, he is suddenly reminded of the fleeting nature of life. In that moment, he realizes the importance of using each moment wisely and not allowing himself to be lost in extremes of behavior. It is then that this Rule comes to his mind.

Interpretation within the Story - At this point, Shams stands just a step away from meeting Rumi, to whom he would eventually pass on his knowledge and wisdom. At the same time, he is struck by the realization that life can end at any moment.

Why did this thought arise?

Because Baba Zamaan had warned the dervishes that whoever went to Konya to meet Rumi had very little chance of returning alive. With Shams now on the brink of that very journey, it is natural that the awareness of life’s impermanence surfaced within him. In that realization, he understood that there is no time to be wasted in worldly distractions.

Deeper Interpretation Beyond the Story - Humanity would greatly benefit from truly understanding the temporary nature of life. We live as if we will exist forever. Yet spiritual masters have always reminded us that this world is only a temporary dwelling, like a guest house or a waiting room. While we are here, our responsibility is to make this space more beautiful, so that those who come after us may experience it more gracefully.

The first problem arises when the awareness of life’s impermanence never enters our minds. Believing we will live forever, we develop a desire to control people and situations, as if they are necessary for our endless existence.

This is the illusion, the Maya, in which we are trapped. Instead of seeking the Creator behind this illusion, we become entangled in trying to dominate it. This is one extreme.

The other is renunciation, where people reject the world entirely, calling it an illusion. Both control and renunciation are distractions, because in both cases we are taking the world too seriously.

In truth, life is neither meant to be controlled nor renounced. It is meant to be used, as a means to discover the Divine through life’s experiences. Every situation is designed as a tool for our evolution.

Shams illustrates this through the metaphor of a toy. A child either becomes attached to the toy (control) or breaks and discards it (renunciation). Both responses miss the purpose of the toy, which is simply to play with it fully. Through wholehearted engagement, the attachment naturally dissolves.

Similarly, life is meant to be lived fully and consciously, so that we can transcend our attachment to it. As Mae West said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

The real issue is that we rarely live fully. That is why we keep seeking more time, more chances, whether in the same life or across many lives.

In the end, Shams advises us to stay away from extremes. He concludes by saying, “Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.”

This can be understood in different ways. One view is that a person initiated into Sufism naturally remains balanced. Another is that maintaining balance is a discipline one must consciously practice.

But perhaps the deepest understanding is this: anyone who lives in balance and avoids extremes is, in essence, a Sufi, regardless of formal initiation.

This is best illustrated by a beautiful Buddhist parable. The Buddha routinely advised his disciples to avoid extremes and commit to a balanced Middle Path. One day, a disciple countered, "You stress the Middle Path so much that adhering to it has become an 'extreme' of its own." The Buddha simply replied, "I can allow only one extreme, and that is the extreme of the Middle Path."

Gratitude!!!